Good Intentions

Good intentions are very mortal and perishable things. Like very mellow and choice fruit, they are difficult to keep.
Charles Simmons

Before we dig down into my good intentions and how they ran astray, I wanted to first sort out exactly where the above quote was from. I looked around for a good quote for this blog post and while that one nails it, I'm unable to actually source it. There are several Charles Simmons authors, at least one politician, and a singer - I'm unsure which of those people this quote is attributed to. If anyone knows for sure, I would love to know so I can properly accredit it.

I had every intention of using Nanowrimo to make good progress and hopefully finish my book, but it just did not happen. I started off making good progress and got another 6500 words or so written and transformed a section of the book that was incredibly weak and contrived into one that added a ton of nuance and needed sincerity to a section that is going to drive the political situation going forward (and I'm just getting into the meat of this section, so it's going to just continue to grow in word count). To be completely fair, there are still three days left in the month, but if I'm being honest, there's no way I'm catching up.

My mom was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in July of 2017. The rest of that year was a blur of doctor visits, hospital stays, radiation, chemotherapy, and surgeries. My wife and I adjusted everything to make sure she got to all of her appointments, her daily radiation treatments, and then took care of her in the aftermath. Everything she went through took a toll though and looking back through pictures, the before and after is pretty stark. Her kidney function was already injured pretty severely by her untreated diabetes over the years and the chemotherapy drugs didn't help them out at all. It was a continued struggle with her the past couple of years with every doctor she visited telling her she needed dialysis, but she flatly refused to suffer through that as well and made the decision to just let things run their course. On November 4, she was taken to the hospital for an infection that had set into her right big toe and her left heel. She went downhill pretty quickly in the hospital and we had to make the choice to move her into hospice care. At the point she was moved, she was largely unresponsive and was only awake for short periods of time. She passed on November 22 around 5 PM. I had been down there and sat with her just hours before she passed, but I'm not sure she even knew I was there.

So, I'm giving myself a pass this November. I'll get back to things when I'm able, and I will get this book finished eventually.

And then I get to deal with all the dreadful things I've read about that happen after you finish your book and try to get it published.

Nanowrimo

I have a love / hate relationship with this time of year.

I love the cooler weather, and those first few brisk mornings full of dry Fall air are amazing. On the other hand, we fall back and it gets dark at 5 PM. We typically have beautiful weather in October / November, but ragweed and golden rods are blooming and double-teaming my seasonal allergies. And to top things off this year, we keep getting hit by back-to-back hurricanes so it's been less leaves falling and more like limbs and branches falling.

With November upon us, that means it is time for Nanowrimo. I've taken part in Nanowrimo once before, but it was for a book that never got off the ground as I was just never happy with the story in my head. This year, rather than using Nanowrimo to start a new book, I'm cheating and using it as an opportunity to hold myself accountable and get the first draft of this book finished. I started last night at 62,359 words. Between watching football and fighting through some dialog that I couldn't get to sound very natural, I finished up at 63,130. It was far less than half of what I wanted to get accomplished, but I got a tough section worked through and I think the dialog feels natural now, so the next little bit should flow easily.

Of course, I was on vacation last week and had gradiose visions of finishing the book then. But the week was full of appointments, a hurricane, my 9th wedding anniversary, and Halloween, all of which were more important than just sitting down and trying to plow through the book. Instead, I spent what time I would have normally been writing verifying the timeline presented in the book works in the grand scheme of things (it does!), and coming up with how dates and years work within the universe of the book. I also spent the time with the part of the book I was stuck on and let it percolate around in my subconscious, and I know how to tie everything in together now.

Are you participating in Nanowrimo? If so, how do you approach it?